As is our practice when we do an executive search we like to supply some video, or recorded audio, of the top candidates. Seeing, or hearing, the candidates, provides a better idea of who they really are. So it saves time, money and reduces hiring risk for the client. Normally we put all this material on the web so the hiring team can peruse it at their convenience. This saves even more time. It's a slick system.

However, recently a client, a Fortune-level CEO and a way-back reader of this occasional newsletter (in fact we've mentioned him) called up and asked me to bring the content over to Chicago Executive Airport (a busy corporate airport near Chicago) and we'd go over the candidates for a senior finance position and then have some lunch.

We met on his Gulfstream jet (nice). After reviewing the video and resumes, and making some decisions, we put the work aside as the flight steward set the table for lunch which was brought over by a famous North Shore restaurant. My preference for food was my monosyllabic reply of "sure" to the comment: "I hope you like Atkins." For the curious the meal consisted of grilled tuna steak with a portabella, gorgonzola salad and a glass of One.6 Chardonnay (a "low carb" wine).

During lunch (which permanently altered my notion of "diet food") I noticed my host seemed totally relaxed and without distraction. This was notable to me because you almost never see it. Most people, from the McDonald's drive-thru window person, to Donald Trump (ok, maybe a bad example), have so much on their minds that you just know they aren't all there. And they know it themselves. But here was my host, a nationally important man responsible for over 50,000 employees, and ultimately responsible for countless projects and shareholders, and yet he had a relaxed "lightness" about him that suggested he had arrived someplace that I, and perhaps you too, want to be. So I asked him how he did it. Here is the salient part of the conversation almost verbatim:

He smiled at the initial question. "Ah, maybe it's just a trick. Maybe I'm as overwhelmed as the fella that brought the food. I just don't show it. Maybe it's a ruse."

Sipping the wine, I thought about this. "No. I don't think so. I'd be able to tell because that's my job and I'm good at it."

"OK, then describe to me in a single word what you think you're observing, either by its presence or absence. Go ahead. You're creative. Give it a try."

I thought about this, then said, simply, "Carefree". I then looked around the luxurious $20 million jet and added, "Which strikes me as impossible!"

"Well, you're right. I absolutely am not carefree in the usual sense, But I am in a very important way."

Now we were getting somewhere. "And what way is that?"

"My mind is clear. And relaxed," he said, eating the crisp tuna. He then reached into his breast pocket, pulled out a dime store notepad, made a note on it with a nice fountain pen and replaced it in his pocket. The motion was fluid and seemed to take only a few seconds. I realized he'd done it a half dozen times since I arrived but this was the first time I really noticed. His motion was that practiced. That routine. Clearly he had done it thousands of times.

"So's mine," I announced confidently.

"But it's not," he said, waving his fork. "And Tal, that's not a bad thing. It's just inefficient. Like most people you over and under react to situations, which means the situations control you. You need to remind yourself to respond appropriately."

I replied, "Like the old notion of reacting like water when you toss a pebble into it?"

"Exactly," he said smiling. "We're talking about the same thing. The water doesn't over or under react. It reacts appropriately. If you over or under react the input is controlling you. Phone calls. Meetings. Now e-mails. I learned a long time ago to give everything exactly what it deserves. Nothing more. Nothing less. At the time I came to that understanding, it was a big step for me." As he said this the pad came out and a few seconds later glided back into his shirt pocket. Smooth.

In the background a Learjet roared down the runway and off toward the East. I confess to wondering if its expensive occupants were under or over reacting to something. I half expected my host to read my mind and whisper, "Over." I continued with my lunch. It was delicious.

There was an easy silence in the cabin. I finally asked, "I can understand the practicality of a measured response. But that doesn't explain your notion of the clear and relaxed mind. You have to have more going on in your head than anybody I know. How can you say it's clear and relaxed?"

"Simple. No open folders," he said, pointing his fork towards his head. "The open folders can kill you."

"Excuse me? Open folders?"

"We all make commitments--far more than we are aware of, most of them to ourselves. The key is the way our subconscious mind handles them. Basically, all our outstanding commitments are kept track of. I think of these as open folders because literally that's what they are. Something unfinished and waiting for something. Waiting for action and closure."

"What's an example?"

"Anything you think of that you want to come back to. Think about the enormity of that. It's any task you need to do, anything you want to follow-up on. The moment you think of it, if you don't execute it right then, it becomes an open folder. Something that needs to happen in the future. The problem is, in a typical human being, the open folders sort of float around in your short term memory which is a finite space. In the majority of people it's very cluttered which is the opposite of having a clear mind."

"And the clutter creates stress?" I asked, reaching for the glass of peculiar but tasty wine.

"Of course! Because you've identified a responsibility you have, some task you need to do and your subconscious mind won't let you really relax until it's done. So you have to handle it. The problem is much of the time we "forget" it--but in reality, Tal, it's not gone. It's still up there. Still an open folder sponging up resources. After a while there's no more room so we lose focus, get tense and become less effective. We can founder."

Then it dawned on me. "Thus, the pad?"

"Thus the pad," he said, pulling it out and fanning it like a deck of playing cards. "This is where everything goes. And I mean absolutely everything. The key is you have to trust it. I know if I write it down it will resurface [Note: This was later clarified. The little note pages, which are all dated, (reference, action or desired outcome notations), are faxed to an admin support person for handling. The circle back/follow-up process is apparently quite rigid.]. The point is I can then forget about it. Writing it down "closes the folder" freeing up bandwidth to think about something else."

"And what is that, typically?"

"Actually, mostly family and other pleasant pastimes. But if it's business related, after envisioning a project's desired outcome, it's mostly next step related thinking. Much less big picture than you would think. I've known a long time you can't "do" a project. You do steps. Therefore, much of my focus is on what's the very next thing that has to happen to move a project along. And that's typically making a suggestion to somebody."

"So your strategy is to keep very little on your mind."

"Exactly. And that's what you refer to as my appearing 'carefree'." With that he reached into a compartment in the leather arm rest of his seat. He pulled out a blank notepad. "Here," he said sliding it across the table. "Try it. You'll see."

I did try it. And he's right. By moving the things that can't be used or concluded right now into a trusted loop-back system I'm finding I have a lot less 'on my mind' which, in turn, makes my thinking crisper and cleaner. And yes, knowing valuable thoughts aren't going to "escape" leads to a kind of mental relaxation you need to experience to understand. I doubt I'm the sort of person that will ever be "carefree" but it's proving an enjoyable and very useful experiment.

If you feel stressed and over committed you should definitely try this technique. If you do let me know how it works out for you. I've substituted my iPhone for the pad but it works the same. You'll never look back.